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Today I want to talk about animals. The ones we bring into our lives and become family.
This is my dog, Stella.
We rescued her back in 2012. Back when I so desperately wanted another baby, but my ovaries weren’t cooperating. After a year of trying to conceive, my husband and I picked up the phone and made an appointment with a fertility specialist then drove to an animal shelter. We were trying for so long to give my son a sibling. To expand our family. So, we decided, how about a dog?
We walked up and down the hallway of the shelter, looking into the crates that held these homeless pups and my eyes locked with Stella’s. Her name then was Laura (I know, look at her. She is NOT a Laura, right?!?!?) There was something in her eyes that instantly landed her in my heart. “This one”, I said. The folks there let us play with her in a private room. She was pathetic, truly. So frightened by everything. Tail in between the legs, panting, shaking. All she could do was curl up against my legs as I sat on the floor trying to get her to chase a ball and play with us. My husband said, “eh, she’s cute but let’s see about that black lab puppy.” You know the type, the happy-go-lucky ones. That’s what my guy wanted us to bring home. Stella did not have that kind of vibe. But I knew she was mine. I knew this was the one we would take home.
It was mid-December when we brought Stella home. All she did was hide in the corner, behind our Christmas tree. She must have felt safest there. The only information the shelter had on her was that she was abandoned on the side of the road in rural Georgia - apparently separated from her mom prematurely. They told us she was part Lab/part Shepard. What I discovered later was she is neither. She is a Carolina Dog - otherwise known as the American Dingo. We got ourselves a wild dog. And it took some time to domestic her. But the love I felt for her from day one, that can never be tamed.
It took us a day or two before we could land on a name for her. We eventually named her after our favorite beer, Stella Artois. How ironic. If only I knew then that this furry gal would be my rock on the nights I would white knuckle it, sobbing through tears, trying to get sober. The weight of her body against my legs as I willed myself to not pour a drink was what grounded me. I would try to steady my breathing to be on beat with hers.
I think she healed me from day one. Three months after giving her a home, the pregnancy test finally turned positive. Through tears of relief, I called to cancel that appointment with the fertility specialist. And I kissed that dog’s snout because I knew somehow, this was her doing.
Stella fiercely protects her pack. The way she loves on my two kids is immeasurable. Hearts expand when you have a cherished pet in the home. It is medicine for the soul like no other I’ve known.
Stella, every day, reminds me of the power of presence. I believe this is a dog’s purpose.
Animals have a way of emoting passion, devotion, zest for life. All the things that enrich our days.
Mary Oliver wrote in her book, Dog Songs
You may not agree, you may not care, but
if you are holding this book, you should know that of all the sights I love in this world — and there are plenty — very near the top of the list is this one: dogs without leashes.”
I agree Mary.
If you really want a treat, watch this video of Mary Oliver reading one of her dog poems
I remember as a kid watching Old Yeller and BAWLING. I brought my son Nate to see a Dog’s Purpose back when it was in theatres, and he had a similar reaction. He was so pissed at me for taking him to the movie theatre to see it - where he publicly sobbed and sobbed. I know, Nate. I know. That sort of display should be done in the privacy of our home. I’m sorry. (If you haven’t seen this movie, GAWD. Have the tissues on the ready).
And for my fellow dog lovers, read this book. I’ve picked it up a handful of times. Always a treasure.
Oh Enzo!!! You will forever be etched in my heart, too. For those who haven’t read the book or seen the movie, it is told from the point of view of the dog. My favorite lines from the book:
Here’s why I will be a good person. Because I listen. I cannot speak, so I listen very well. I never interrupt, I never change the course of the conversation with a comment of my own. People, if you pay attention to them, change the direction of one another’s conversations constantly. It’s like having a passenger in your car who suddenly grabs the steering wheel and turns you down a side street. Learn to listen! I beg of you. Pretend you are a dog like me and listen to other people rather than steal their stories.
Isn’t that the truth?!?!
And this one. Words to live by:
That which is around me does not affect my mood; my mood affects that which is around me.
Stella is 11. These last few months we’ve seen a considerable amount of slow down happening. More napping, less jumping. Her hearing is going a bit. She isn’t running to the car with pep because now it pains her to get up in the back of my Jeep. I can’t bear to think of the day we are forced to say goodbye to her. When my eyes no longer lock with hers.
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PETS:
~Are you a dog or a cat person? Or both? I want to hear about your sweet pets. Tell us how your heart was etched by an animal.
~Do you have any dog book recommendations? Let us know!
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Hahahaha. Homer makes me laugh, too. That’s awesome. Is he a chocolate lab? I love his doggy profile in your pic. You can tell he’s taking it all in. If only we humans could consistently do that.
Thanks for sharing Homer with us here!
This is such a gorgeous post Allison. I have two black cats in my life. Both came to me amidst an unsuccessful journey with infertility. Both became my angels, in their own different ways, walking me through my grief. One by his deeply intuitive presence. At the moments where I would hit rock bottom, he would be glued to my lap with a paw on my heart. The other by bringing mischief, cheekiness and life back into my home and my heart - a perpetual kitten who chases anything that moves. They're also both aging now. I don't know how I'll ever face those goodbyes when the time comes...