Allison, you don’t know how much I needed to read this today. This letter is so beautiful- what a wonderful mom Nate has. I love the “we should do this again soon.” How precious. Letters like these really encourage me to keep writing even when it’s hard. Thank you for sharing this with us all.
Thank you, Marc. Your letters are such gifts - not only to Myles but to fathers/parents/all folks who simply have a heart. I'm so glad my letter to Nate offered you some encouragement that the hard work of writing your parenting experiences down and sharing them with an audience is worth it. I certainly hope you will "do it again soon."
What is cool about how you, Marc, and others write a letter to children, is how it can be refined and added to as life goes on because we never stop learning and experiencing.
I wrote a letter to my daughter over a year ago about my search for what is "enough" and boy have I learned so much more about life and this search for "enough" in the past year...so, will be fun to re-visit and "do this again" as you put it when I update my letter to my girls.
I love that, Jordan. And I can see myself adding to the letter - expanding on what, perhaps, the next decade or 5 years brings Nate and me. You are so right - life keeps on opening us up to different lessons and experiences.
I’ll be blessed to be able to “do it again” and love how Marc is inspiring so many of us to write directly to our kids.
Thanks for popping in here to let me know how it landed with you!
Loved this so much, Allison. Broke my heart wide open. What a gift to you and Nate. He sounds like an incredible young man. That poem!! He has your creative genes. You prompt me to write letters to both my beautiful daughters, who just turned 29 and 31. Thanks also for recommending Marc Typo to me, I now subscribe. There is such a danger for all us parents to let the moments, big and small, fly by. I have no big moments coming up with my daughters, just a constant ache that they live a continent away in Europe, one in Paris and the other in Barcelona. That is why, in time, when I can leave the US (which will be the saddest of occasions, because it will mean my mother is no longer with us), I will be making my way to Europe to be closer to them. My daughters and I are very close, the best of friends, and as I grow older, and as they grow older (I have a sense that weddings and babies are in their futures, because they've shared those dreams with me, both of them in happy, healthy relationships with good men), I don't want to miss any of it. I want a closer seat to the unfolding of their lives--and they of mine. Meanwhile, I content myself with our annual, and some years, twice-yearly, extended visits. Cherish those babies of yours, Allison, as I know you do. They will fly away before you know it.
Thank you, Amy! Oh, believe me. I am encouraging him to write more. He does have a knack for it. He is planning on taking a journalism class his senior year (next year) but I'm nudging him (gently) to consider some creative writing in the future.
The love you share with your daughters is so evident. I still think about that beautiful essay you shared that your daughter wrote. There truly is something so special about the connections moms can have with their daughters. While I don't want to speed any of it up, I look at my daughter and can't wait for the day we can have those adult, woman to woman conversations.
Thanks for letting me know how this resonates. xoxo
Fully crying over here. The way you described him. The way you are able to see him. And then that poem he wrote 🫠 and the footnote that you asked him how he felt about you writing this made my therapist heart swell.
I’m sitting reading this imagining what this all must feel like. I have the 4 year old version of this right now. It’s hard to picture him older so it took some suspension of reality. I’m sitting, getting a bit of reading in before he wakes up, and literally as I read the last word of this, I hear the undeniable pitter patter of his feet, he’s a heat seeking missile looking for me. Usually I’d give him a lecture about how his alarm hasn’t gone off yet, but today I just let him curl up into my lap. Your words allowed me to loosen my grip and give that moment to us. 💖
Thank you for this thoughtful comment, Kaitlyn. Oh, you made ME tear up imagining you and your sweet 4-year-old having that moment this morning. Oh - I miss that stage so very much. My floors no longer have the sounds of that pitter patter. But my heart remembers. xoxo
Love this so much! Never too old to write them a letter. I’m going to do with my grandkids now, just like the letters my mom wrote me when I left for college. Still have it! Thanks for this amazing piece...what a wonderful boy you have, wonderful mom you are! 😊❤️
This is the story of my granddaughter, Lyric’s miracle beginning!
Lyric, born April 7, 2012 arrived well before her intended date of birth. May 28th was the date we were all prepared to welcome her into the world and our family. My daughter, her mother, was on pins and needles (as we all were) for her first 48 hours in NICU. She was so very tiny that, after 4 weeks, her whole being could be held in one hand! All the tubes and monitors made her life seem so dependent on the hospitals round the clock care. Her mother never left her side for those first 48 hours, but then seeing how exhausted she was the doctor insisted she go home. I remember the fear we all felt every time we left her that she might not make it through the night….not being able to hold her tiny, fragile little body….only able to touch her through the gloved opening in the incubator.
Sadly the day her NICU doctor told Kelly to go home and rest, saying “she’s past the crucial 48 hour mark” were the last words we heard from him. That wonderful, caring NICU doctor was destined to leave this earthly plane and join all the other angels that very day. He was a middle aged man, seeming healthy in mind and body, but when he went for that fateful swim in a lake above Boise, Idaho his heart just decided to give out and he drowned. I believe this angel watches over all the tiny human beings that were under his care in NICU, even now!
The possibility of birth defects for preemies had us so worried for Lyric’s future, but miraculously she was spared. It seems so very strange that, in spite of her prematurity she developed very early on in all ways, (i.e., full blown puberty at 10 and always tallier and more socially mature than any of her classmates).
Lyric is now, at 12 nearing 13 a healthy, bright young lady. Even though she was born 7 weeks and 2 days early, you would never know it. She is a talented lyricist and self taught guitarist, poet and writer and yes grouchy as hell “doesn’t do mornings” young lady. She maintains high grades in her charter school and has the opportunity to get her AA degree by 8th grade. She is the driven force behind her determination to do so.
I am also blessed with my sweet 16 year old granddaughter, Mikayla, who has consistently maintained a 4.0 gpa while attending a charter high school . She is taking 4 college classes while there and is doing amazingly well! Her future plans are to become a veterinarian , practicing in exotic animals - she shares my love of animals.
I was blessed with twin daughters, whom in turn were each blessed with a daughter, resulting in the ultimate blessing bestowed to me of two incredible granddaughters!
My daughters and their daughters are the legacy I leave behind…the reason I was born! And when my time on earth is finalized I pray that I will become the angel that will always be there for them when I’m needed.
Charlene - thank you for sharing your granddaughters with us here. Blessings indeed.
Lyric’s story gave me goosebumps. And hearing how she’s blossomed into her tween years, could your daughter have picked a better name? Love it.
I agree that the NICU doctors and nurses are angels here on earth. And continue to be angels in afterlife. I distinctly remember and will never forget nurse Kristen. She was the main nurse for my son. Truth be told, she nursed me too. I was so unsure, scared and scarred as a new mom. She helped me believe I could give my preemie what he needed.
Looking at my talk preemie today, too. I marvel at how far he’s come. Just like you do with Lyric.
It’s a wild ride and I’m so glad to have been on it all along.
I’ve popped over here from your notes to read about your sweet birthday boy What a special human. (I suspect he might be just a tad like his mother 😉 in the sensitive sweet old soul department). What a rough beginning he had! Poor lil guy. Poor mama! I love this mother/son love story. Any time a teenager genuinely and willingly hangs out with their parent is a moment to treasure and tuck away. Love love the ask to hang out with you more. And the image you drew of him dancing and not holding back-joyful! All your words helped me get an idea of what a special young man Nate is, but the look of genuine concern and focused attention on his face in the photo with your daughter is what really got me in the heart. He looks absolutely full of care and concern. So touching. ❤️
Thanks, Rosemary. Nate is a special breed - truly a gift. I wrote in his bday card yesterday how his gentle way of gliding through life with such care for others is a rarity. His American studies history teacher recently wrote on his mid semester progress report that “Nate just gets it - how the world ought to work”. I mean, isn’t that all a mama can ask for?!?!
And you should see the bday card his little sister wrote for him yesterday - cue tears (the best kind). They have such a special bond.
Thanks for reading and letting me know where it lands for you - my fellow feelings mama 💗
this was so beautiful 🥲your reflections questions remind me of the concert i last saw before i moved. every song brought me to tears because of how much i loved my friends and how hard saying goodbye was going to be
Allison, you don’t know how much I needed to read this today. This letter is so beautiful- what a wonderful mom Nate has. I love the “we should do this again soon.” How precious. Letters like these really encourage me to keep writing even when it’s hard. Thank you for sharing this with us all.
Thank you, Marc. Your letters are such gifts - not only to Myles but to fathers/parents/all folks who simply have a heart. I'm so glad my letter to Nate offered you some encouragement that the hard work of writing your parenting experiences down and sharing them with an audience is worth it. I certainly hope you will "do it again soon."
Thank you Allison! What a beautiful letter!
What is cool about how you, Marc, and others write a letter to children, is how it can be refined and added to as life goes on because we never stop learning and experiencing.
I wrote a letter to my daughter over a year ago about my search for what is "enough" and boy have I learned so much more about life and this search for "enough" in the past year...so, will be fun to re-visit and "do this again" as you put it when I update my letter to my girls.
I love that, Jordan. And I can see myself adding to the letter - expanding on what, perhaps, the next decade or 5 years brings Nate and me. You are so right - life keeps on opening us up to different lessons and experiences.
I’ll be blessed to be able to “do it again” and love how Marc is inspiring so many of us to write directly to our kids.
Thanks for popping in here to let me know how it landed with you!
Loved this so much, Allison. Broke my heart wide open. What a gift to you and Nate. He sounds like an incredible young man. That poem!! He has your creative genes. You prompt me to write letters to both my beautiful daughters, who just turned 29 and 31. Thanks also for recommending Marc Typo to me, I now subscribe. There is such a danger for all us parents to let the moments, big and small, fly by. I have no big moments coming up with my daughters, just a constant ache that they live a continent away in Europe, one in Paris and the other in Barcelona. That is why, in time, when I can leave the US (which will be the saddest of occasions, because it will mean my mother is no longer with us), I will be making my way to Europe to be closer to them. My daughters and I are very close, the best of friends, and as I grow older, and as they grow older (I have a sense that weddings and babies are in their futures, because they've shared those dreams with me, both of them in happy, healthy relationships with good men), I don't want to miss any of it. I want a closer seat to the unfolding of their lives--and they of mine. Meanwhile, I content myself with our annual, and some years, twice-yearly, extended visits. Cherish those babies of yours, Allison, as I know you do. They will fly away before you know it.
Thank you, Amy! Oh, believe me. I am encouraging him to write more. He does have a knack for it. He is planning on taking a journalism class his senior year (next year) but I'm nudging him (gently) to consider some creative writing in the future.
The love you share with your daughters is so evident. I still think about that beautiful essay you shared that your daughter wrote. There truly is something so special about the connections moms can have with their daughters. While I don't want to speed any of it up, I look at my daughter and can't wait for the day we can have those adult, woman to woman conversations.
Thanks for letting me know how this resonates. xoxo
Fully crying over here. The way you described him. The way you are able to see him. And then that poem he wrote 🫠 and the footnote that you asked him how he felt about you writing this made my therapist heart swell.
I’m sitting reading this imagining what this all must feel like. I have the 4 year old version of this right now. It’s hard to picture him older so it took some suspension of reality. I’m sitting, getting a bit of reading in before he wakes up, and literally as I read the last word of this, I hear the undeniable pitter patter of his feet, he’s a heat seeking missile looking for me. Usually I’d give him a lecture about how his alarm hasn’t gone off yet, but today I just let him curl up into my lap. Your words allowed me to loosen my grip and give that moment to us. 💖
Thank you for this thoughtful comment, Kaitlyn. Oh, you made ME tear up imagining you and your sweet 4-year-old having that moment this morning. Oh - I miss that stage so very much. My floors no longer have the sounds of that pitter patter. But my heart remembers. xoxo
Typing through my tears. This letter & your relationship with your son are absolutely beautiful.Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Awww - thank you for letting me know it moved you, Pamela. I certainly had tears flowing while writing it!
Appreciate this comment 💕
Love this so much! Never too old to write them a letter. I’m going to do with my grandkids now, just like the letters my mom wrote me when I left for college. Still have it! Thanks for this amazing piece...what a wonderful boy you have, wonderful mom you are! 😊❤️
Thank you, Joan! Oh I love that you still have the letter your mom wrote to you. That is truly a keepsake 💕
It’s here in my archives...I’ll look it up/update it!
So beautiful! And Nate’s poem is gorgeous too.
Thank you, Jenna! Appreciate that.
So beautiful! We need more Nate’s in our world. Thanks for sharing him with your words.
Thank you Katherine!! 🙏🏼
I wish this world had more gentle souls like his, that’s for sure.
Beautiful
Thank you
Thanks for reading Avril!
This is the story of my granddaughter, Lyric’s miracle beginning!
Lyric, born April 7, 2012 arrived well before her intended date of birth. May 28th was the date we were all prepared to welcome her into the world and our family. My daughter, her mother, was on pins and needles (as we all were) for her first 48 hours in NICU. She was so very tiny that, after 4 weeks, her whole being could be held in one hand! All the tubes and monitors made her life seem so dependent on the hospitals round the clock care. Her mother never left her side for those first 48 hours, but then seeing how exhausted she was the doctor insisted she go home. I remember the fear we all felt every time we left her that she might not make it through the night….not being able to hold her tiny, fragile little body….only able to touch her through the gloved opening in the incubator.
Sadly the day her NICU doctor told Kelly to go home and rest, saying “she’s past the crucial 48 hour mark” were the last words we heard from him. That wonderful, caring NICU doctor was destined to leave this earthly plane and join all the other angels that very day. He was a middle aged man, seeming healthy in mind and body, but when he went for that fateful swim in a lake above Boise, Idaho his heart just decided to give out and he drowned. I believe this angel watches over all the tiny human beings that were under his care in NICU, even now!
The possibility of birth defects for preemies had us so worried for Lyric’s future, but miraculously she was spared. It seems so very strange that, in spite of her prematurity she developed very early on in all ways, (i.e., full blown puberty at 10 and always tallier and more socially mature than any of her classmates).
Lyric is now, at 12 nearing 13 a healthy, bright young lady. Even though she was born 7 weeks and 2 days early, you would never know it. She is a talented lyricist and self taught guitarist, poet and writer and yes grouchy as hell “doesn’t do mornings” young lady. She maintains high grades in her charter school and has the opportunity to get her AA degree by 8th grade. She is the driven force behind her determination to do so.
I am also blessed with my sweet 16 year old granddaughter, Mikayla, who has consistently maintained a 4.0 gpa while attending a charter high school . She is taking 4 college classes while there and is doing amazingly well! Her future plans are to become a veterinarian , practicing in exotic animals - she shares my love of animals.
I was blessed with twin daughters, whom in turn were each blessed with a daughter, resulting in the ultimate blessing bestowed to me of two incredible granddaughters!
My daughters and their daughters are the legacy I leave behind…the reason I was born! And when my time on earth is finalized I pray that I will become the angel that will always be there for them when I’m needed.
Charlene - thank you for sharing your granddaughters with us here. Blessings indeed.
Lyric’s story gave me goosebumps. And hearing how she’s blossomed into her tween years, could your daughter have picked a better name? Love it.
I agree that the NICU doctors and nurses are angels here on earth. And continue to be angels in afterlife. I distinctly remember and will never forget nurse Kristen. She was the main nurse for my son. Truth be told, she nursed me too. I was so unsure, scared and scarred as a new mom. She helped me believe I could give my preemie what he needed.
Looking at my talk preemie today, too. I marvel at how far he’s come. Just like you do with Lyric.
It’s a wild ride and I’m so glad to have been on it all along.
Thanks for reading and visiting here, Charlene. 🫶
Beautiful writing ❤️ touched my heart 😭
God has truly blessed you
Thank you, Mary. I am blessed. Appreciate you reading and sharing here.
Loved this. Hits home.
I write letters to my girls as well. This is very touching.
I’m gonna have to go back and find out the Substack you’re referring to. Thank you.
Thanks Prajna. Marc's Substack is so tender and witty. All the feels. I think you'd love it.
I’ve popped over here from your notes to read about your sweet birthday boy What a special human. (I suspect he might be just a tad like his mother 😉 in the sensitive sweet old soul department). What a rough beginning he had! Poor lil guy. Poor mama! I love this mother/son love story. Any time a teenager genuinely and willingly hangs out with their parent is a moment to treasure and tuck away. Love love the ask to hang out with you more. And the image you drew of him dancing and not holding back-joyful! All your words helped me get an idea of what a special young man Nate is, but the look of genuine concern and focused attention on his face in the photo with your daughter is what really got me in the heart. He looks absolutely full of care and concern. So touching. ❤️
Thanks, Rosemary. Nate is a special breed - truly a gift. I wrote in his bday card yesterday how his gentle way of gliding through life with such care for others is a rarity. His American studies history teacher recently wrote on his mid semester progress report that “Nate just gets it - how the world ought to work”. I mean, isn’t that all a mama can ask for?!?!
And you should see the bday card his little sister wrote for him yesterday - cue tears (the best kind). They have such a special bond.
Thanks for reading and letting me know where it lands for you - my fellow feelings mama 💗
Aw. Seeing the sibling love is The Best 💗💗
So beautiful, what a treasure to share with us - and with Nate. He's so clearly a lucky young man to have you as his mother.
Thanks Belinda 💕 i appreciate that.
I must say, he’s easy to write about. Lots of heart felt material bubbles to the surface when I reflect on the my experience being his mom.
this was so beautiful 🥲your reflections questions remind me of the concert i last saw before i moved. every song brought me to tears because of how much i loved my friends and how hard saying goodbye was going to be
Music can be so powerful, right?!?
thank you for sharing!! 🫂🫂
Thanks for reading and reaching out!
Hi Allison,
This was so beautiful, thank you for sharing something so very personal with us.
You have been on some journey, 5 surgeries and they still don't know...
So glad, he proved those doctors wrong hey.
Think I saw a post the other day from you, where you said that he made the varsity team as well? a big congrats to all of you.
Thanks JP! Yes, he made his varsity debut last night, in fact. And he looked great out there (even scored!). 💪🏻🏀
Thats awesome, what a perfect way for him to start off👏👏👏 you must be so happy.