There Need Not Be a Bottom or a Problem
The sun has only one day. How will you spend yours?
If you’re a new Subscriber to DARE TO BE DRY, hello! I’m so happy to have you here. I invite you to explore below to learn a little bit more about me and find links to some of my earlier essays that connected with readers:
DARE TO BE DRY is sobriety focused. But you don’t have to have ever had a problematic tango with alcohol to be here and feel resonance. This is the space where I get curious and invite whatever parts of me want to step up that day. For decades I spent so much time and energy doing. Writing reminds me of the importance of simply being. It slows me down. I’ve learned I don’t like the pace in the fast lane.
My “hero post” explaining what my heart wants from this space and what it DARES TO BE
Two of my most vulnerable essays letting you know I Was That Kind of Drinker and what I realized when I hit 1,000 days of sobriety
I love writing about parenting - it stirs up so much. Here is a trifecta of inspiration from my kids: Preparing to Launch and Trusting the Mother in Me and What My Daughter and March Madness are Teaching Me About Being a Woman
Some of my readers receive this weekly newsletter by email only. Others read it and open it via their Inbox directly from the Substack app. However you receive this, I am so grateful to have you here, truly.
I am going to share below what I have been sharing on the Notes feature on Substack for the last 6 days.
are just some of the courageous writers that are here, spilling out their truths. Every morning for the next 24 days I will continue to shine a light on another writer, traveling this road of recovery because these stories should be heard. Because none of us heal in the dark. Because these stories should be looked at, aired out in the light. Because every person who heals and recovers has a different story to tell.September is National Recovery Month in the U.S. and Canada
I am a woman in recovery. I am **recovering** from alcohol addiction.
I didn’t look like I had a problem. I was what you would call a high functioning alcoholic. All appeared in order. Underneath- there was so much disorder. So much dis-ease. So much hiding.
I am still recovering. This is the long game. And I am ok with that. In fact, I love knowing that I get to continue to do this work. Because it has been my re-birth into discovery.
Perhaps the most significant thing I have recovered is my voice. A voice I drowned out for decades with alcohol because I was scared to hear from all the parts of me that made me me. So now I show up differently. I hear myself differently.
And I’ve witnessed so many others who are courageously doing the same. Using their voice here, showing up in the world with a commitment to recover all of themselves.
So, for the month of September, I will show up here every day on Notes to shine a light on another writer who is doing this brave work of recovery.
**I say recovering because despite not having a drink in over 44 months and despite not even wanting a drink at all anymore, I am still recovering. Removing alcohol is a fraction of the work. Because alcohol wasn’t my problem. Alcohol was what I used to deal with my problems. I’ve removed the alcohol but guess what? The problems are still here. I just show up to them differently.
Also, I want to point out that there need not be a bottom or a problem for someone to question their relationship with alcohol.
Let’s say that again,
There need not be a bottom or a problem
If you are wondering whether you should step away from drinking, if it is taking more than it is giving, then grant yourself the space and time to assess. Give yourself permission to examine that speck of an inquiry. Trust the questions you whisper to yourself. Sometimes those seeds need to be planted. There often is fruit to bear there.
I have a few drafts of essays I am working on, none of which I feel pulled to shine up and post just yet. So today, I am going to let this be enough. I am going to drop three quotes that I came across recently that gave me pause. Because we ought to stop and let words settle.
Courage is fear that has said its prayers
~Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith
I distinctly remember where I was and the impact this book1 had on me. My family was vacationing in Vermont in the summer of 2021, and I sat on a porch nestled in the woods, with the sounds of a nearby creek as I inhaled Anne’s words with my eyes. I have since been a devout fan of all things Annie Lamott.
I have returned to this quote time and again. Whenever I feel fear rise, I know it is standing up, getting bigger for a reason. The courageous thing to do is to let it grow. Follow its lead. It often knows the way.
Oh, I have spent quite some time in the rocking chair! It feels safe, actually. Going back and forth. Back and forth, I lull myself into a habitual state of anxious preparation. Trying to predict the next event. Catastrophize into the future so that I can have a plan ready to execute. I’m an attorney, after all. This comes naturally to me.
I am getting up from the chair more often now, though. Writing helps move the angst.
The Navajo teach their children that every morning when the sun comes up, it's a brand-new sun. It's born each morning, it lives for the duration of one day, and in the evening, it passes on, never to return again. As soon as the children are old enough to understand, the adults take them out at dawn and they say, "The sun has only one day. You must live this day in a good way, so that the sun won't have wasted precious time."
~ from AWAKENING LOVING-KINDNESS by Pema Chodron
On the days I watch the sun rise, I don’t find myself in the rocking chair.
**MARK YOUR CALENDARS - JOIN ME &
one week from today! Listen live on Instagram! See below for more details:
LET’S KEEP IT GOING:
~Share a quote below that landed on your recently. One that had you hit pause on life’s soundtrack. New lyrics and new songs are worth a listen.
~What is your relationship with the word recovery? I believe we all have something to recover from. If you feel called to share, I’d love to hear from you.
If you're a writer on Substack and have been enjoying my work, please consider recommending DARE TO BE DRY to your readers for essays from a sober focused woman and mom who is waking up to life here in mid-life, daring to speak up as a woman in recovery who is writing about recovery of self, turning down the noise of the world, reclaiming desire and walking into each day with intentional living.
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BEFORE I GO:
Question: Do you like a challenge? I do! Would you like some accountability in regularly posting here on Substack? Me too. Check out the Sparkle on Substack Essay Club where you can find this cute badge:
All you have to do is commit to write (up to) 24 essays each by January 31st 2025. Here is my #11 of 24. Join
and her fun vibe for some collective writing inspiration.
As I was working in my book last week, I wrote this line and I stopped myself in my tracks. Guilty!
“The irony is that you're more OK when you're talking about how you're not OK than when you're pretending to be OK.”
Thanks again for the inclusion here, Allison. For me, recovery is all about reconnection to self, which allows a deeper connection to others.