Beautiful words and reflections to start my Friday morning ✨❤️ I’ve been in a very dull, and suffocating dance with Covid for the last ten days and I’m finally feeling the call to start emerging. Along with trying two new Christmas baking recipes (handed down from my oldest friend’s beloved Grammy), I would love to start a star tradition with Harper. Thank you for planting this seed. It’s our first year in the new house and I have a couple of Christmas traditions up my sleeve, despite the jumble of the last several months.
New house, new traditions. So many memories waiting for you all.
I'm so sorry Covid has hit you, Kezia. My husband is just getting over it, too. He said this time around it had an extra punch of fatigue (whereas last time he had it, he was able to bounce back quicker). I hope you are on the mend. Take it slow, my friend. xoxo
Wishing stars! I’ll have to think about what I’d put on mine. A beautiful share as always, Allison. ❤️
I’ve been feeling a pull toward new routines rising. But it’s more than just routines- it involves how and when I spend time online, and I feel very similar to how I felt in the months leading up to quitting alcohol. Not that I’m quitting the online world, but I’m reaching a tipping point where certain unhelpful patterns no longer even deliver pleasure or a dopamine hit. Finally, finally, I feel ready to change them in a substantive way.
Tipping points can be arrows that lead us right where we ought to be. That’s been my experience anyway.
I’m feeling a lot of ick with my online habits as well. For me, it’s a general sense of apathy or maybe just fatigue when I spend too much time scrolling. It’s as though it zaps upbeat energy from me, even if what I’m reading is “healthy” content. So I understand your pull. I can relate.
Thanks Katie. Winter is meant for dark slow times. That feels right. Despite what we see going on this time of year - the frenetic doing and preparing is antithetical to what my body is telling me it needs right now. I used to be so concerned if I was “low energy” - assumed something was wrong and/or would bully myself back into getting shit done.
I’m gentler with myself this year. This season. Slowing down helps me locate the light that is mine.
Thanks for recognizing that and for being here. 🙏🏼
With deep, heartfelt gratitude thank you for this.
This has been a year of following the moon. I have marked each season with ritual.
March -vernal equinox. The daffodils had bloomed as I found myself moving into the light and opening my eyes to possibilities
June -summer solstice. We had married on the summer solstice in 2021, but this year there would be no anniversary celebration. Instead, I was untying the mooring lines and setting myself free. I had taken an air lantern to the river. It was misting out, and when I finally got it lit I held it in outstretched arms and said " Go, go, go fly" It hovered briefly and then collapsed into the river. I wept and then noticed the moon pointing a rosy finger at me.
September- autumnal equinox. I lit and set free three floating luminary. There is magic in three 💫 I watched them glow and then fade into the horizon.
Now, approaching the winter solstice, I am embracing the darkness I would normally dread. I am preparing a ritual. It will be an all-day affair of meditation, contemplation, and candlelight.
As I turn the year, I am also turning a decade. I am crossing the threshold from who I was to who I am becoming .
I don't know if the weather will support a photo at noon of my shadow or of the moonrise, but if it does, I'll incorporate those as well.
Wishing you strength and grace as you step forward 🦋
April - such a gorgeous practice you have and I thank you for sharing that here. I also pay close attention to the moon, a newish practice for me. I was always a sun chaser- rise early to see it poke through and then marvel as it dips back down hours later. I have a new puppy which requires me stepping out in the wee hours of the morning (4ish) to let her pee and I’ve grown to love this. We look up in the sky and I stay for a few minutes, I’ll whisper a quick something to the moon. A prayer of peace. I may keep that practice when when my dog need not go out so early.
Do you subscribe to Heather Marie Morse here on Substack?
She posts daily and it is packed full of daily rituals and offerings that emphasize the moon’s energies. I think you’d love it.
This right here, I had to pause “. I wept and then noticed the moon pointing a rosy finger at me.” The sky and cosmos can and will hold us. If we pay attention. If we are open to receive it. Wishing you so much grace, magic and serenity as you cross this threshold. ✨
I love your equinox and solstice rituals. Thanks for sharing here!
Allison, this was so rich with love and meaning and reflection and I feel truly inspired by all you have shared. I remember reading the original piece on chronos and kairos time a year ago and appreciating having that new knowledge. I also wanted to bring to your attention a novel on my TBR list that perhaps should be on yours: Wellness by Nathan Hill, an Oprah pick last year, I believe. Here is an interview where he talks about how he was inspired by the Greek idea of kairos in how he structured his novel and I am fascinated to read it and see how he does it:
"In Wellness, I wanted to capture that feeling when certain moments in time are connected to each other, when we suddenly access these former versions of ourselves: the self we were when we were going through that awkward and ugly phase; the self we were when we were small and afraid; the self we were when we were out of our element and made to feel ashamed. These people trail us, sometimes inhabit us. When someone’s having a fight with their spouse, they are responding to a problem in the present, sure, but they are also simultaneously that four-year-old helpless child who was injured in some important memorable way that shaped their map of the world and made them on guard for that thing forever. Our brains reinvent, in the present, that painful moment from the distant past, making it no longer distant. And I wanted to recreate that feeling, by putting scenes from very different eras right next to each other—sometimes even in the same sentence—to arrange the book kairologically rather than chronologically." Nathan Hill, The Southeast Review, https://www.southeastreview.org/single-post/an-interview-with-nathan-hill
I loved the new additions this year to this essay, especially the star tradition with your daughter and I am going to incorporate that in my own traditions with my daughters (and future grandchildren??, she writes hopefully).
Yes, we are so afraid of the darkness, we humans, and along with it, silence. But I have learned to welcome the quiet of the pre-dawn darkness and the arrival of night as the sun goes to rest. I always feel a little thrill inside me when the dark arrives each early evening here in Florida, around 5:30-6pm. Ah, I think, my time, here it is again, the expansive time to feel into my soul. It is in the dark that I feel most at peace, when my creativity most wants to roam and play and wonder. Darkness has become my friend--even when the darkness brings the remembrance of still raw losses and hurts that won't heal. I can sit with those feelings in the dark more comfortably than in the light.
To your questions:
In what small way will you send light into your world? The kind of light that feels like a lingering hug?
I will continue to send my words out into the world, for the little bit of light they may shed, in the hope that it may feel like a lingering hug.
I will also continue to love freely and openly, doing my best to do so without judgement and expectation (knowing I will fail at this, but forgive myself, too).
I will continue to love myself best of all because that is where the light begins.
~What is slowly rising in you? A bit more each day- with its hue coming clearer and brighter?
What is slowly rising in me, becoming clearer and brighter, is the sense of inner peace and calm. For so long, especially in those years of anguish when I knew I had to leave my marriage for my own soul's survival but I couldn't summon my courage, I prayed each day for serenity. Now serenity, it seems, is here, growing brighter every day. There is space in my life and heart for serenity. (And this makes sense, serenity is from Latin serenus, meaning "calm or peaceful"). I think I must remember to cherish in 2025, that when I embark on a brand-new chapter in a brand-new country, I need to guard my serenity. I sense it is fragile.
~What would you include on your star?
For myself: I wish for the capacity to love and accept myself just as I am with serenity.
For others: I wish for the capacity to love and accept others just as they are with serenity.
For the planet: I wish for humans to do everything in their power to heal this planet and bring it back to its natural state of serenity in "the family of things," as Mary Oliver writes in "Wild Geese."
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Thank you, Allison, for the gift of this essay. I will come back to it again during this solstice and reflective holiday break period.
Thank you for this rich and thoughtful response, Amy!
I did read Wellness - one of the first books I picked up in 2024. The kairological sway of the book does come through. And he does it with two characters, not just one protagonist. It’s a different approach and I liked the book a lot.
And - “These people trail us, sometimes inhabit us”. Ooof. Isn’t that the truth. Makes me think of the Chinese nesting dolls 🪆 - this idea that inside us remain all the versions of ourselves that we inhabited. Ones that poke back through.
I can just picture you filling out your stars with your sweet daughters. And my smile grew as imagined you as a grandmother. A role I know you will cherish.
I share in your love (reverence) of the dark. My most precious part of my day is the start of it - when I wake before the sun. Before the rest of my family (even the dogs stay sleeping) and I sit by candlelight, no other lights on and sip my coffee. I read Nepo’s passage and reflect on his words in silent thought. Just a few moments ago - before typing this I just sat staring at my Christmas tree. All lit up while outside is crisp white snowfall from yesterday. A wintery delight. I will let winter wash over me this year. No therapy light infusion. Let nature be my therapy, right? I know you get it and I am so thankful you do. 🫶
Your words certainly do feel like a hug. Loving ourselves best knowing THAT is where/how the light begins. Yes!
Your threefold wish of serenity is gorgeous. I feel it and receive it. Thank you, Amy. For always being so generous in how you show up here.
Beautiful words and reflections to start my Friday morning ✨❤️ I’ve been in a very dull, and suffocating dance with Covid for the last ten days and I’m finally feeling the call to start emerging. Along with trying two new Christmas baking recipes (handed down from my oldest friend’s beloved Grammy), I would love to start a star tradition with Harper. Thank you for planting this seed. It’s our first year in the new house and I have a couple of Christmas traditions up my sleeve, despite the jumble of the last several months.
Feel better soon, Kezia! So sorry you are suffering with Covid at this holiday time. May you be able to join lovely traditions with your little boy.
New house, new traditions. So many memories waiting for you all.
I'm so sorry Covid has hit you, Kezia. My husband is just getting over it, too. He said this time around it had an extra punch of fatigue (whereas last time he had it, he was able to bounce back quicker). I hope you are on the mend. Take it slow, my friend. xoxo
Wishing stars! I’ll have to think about what I’d put on mine. A beautiful share as always, Allison. ❤️
I’ve been feeling a pull toward new routines rising. But it’s more than just routines- it involves how and when I spend time online, and I feel very similar to how I felt in the months leading up to quitting alcohol. Not that I’m quitting the online world, but I’m reaching a tipping point where certain unhelpful patterns no longer even deliver pleasure or a dopamine hit. Finally, finally, I feel ready to change them in a substantive way.
Tipping points can be arrows that lead us right where we ought to be. That’s been my experience anyway.
I’m feeling a lot of ick with my online habits as well. For me, it’s a general sense of apathy or maybe just fatigue when I spend too much time scrolling. It’s as though it zaps upbeat energy from me, even if what I’m reading is “healthy” content. So I understand your pull. I can relate.
Thanks for sharing, Dana 🫶
Fantastic post. I love the traditions you're building ~ and the history you shared.
Winter is meant for darkness, I hope you recognize your own light there in the quiet.
Thanks Katie. Winter is meant for dark slow times. That feels right. Despite what we see going on this time of year - the frenetic doing and preparing is antithetical to what my body is telling me it needs right now. I used to be so concerned if I was “low energy” - assumed something was wrong and/or would bully myself back into getting shit done.
I’m gentler with myself this year. This season. Slowing down helps me locate the light that is mine.
Thanks for recognizing that and for being here. 🙏🏼
With deep, heartfelt gratitude thank you for this.
This has been a year of following the moon. I have marked each season with ritual.
March -vernal equinox. The daffodils had bloomed as I found myself moving into the light and opening my eyes to possibilities
June -summer solstice. We had married on the summer solstice in 2021, but this year there would be no anniversary celebration. Instead, I was untying the mooring lines and setting myself free. I had taken an air lantern to the river. It was misting out, and when I finally got it lit I held it in outstretched arms and said " Go, go, go fly" It hovered briefly and then collapsed into the river. I wept and then noticed the moon pointing a rosy finger at me.
September- autumnal equinox. I lit and set free three floating luminary. There is magic in three 💫 I watched them glow and then fade into the horizon.
Now, approaching the winter solstice, I am embracing the darkness I would normally dread. I am preparing a ritual. It will be an all-day affair of meditation, contemplation, and candlelight.
As I turn the year, I am also turning a decade. I am crossing the threshold from who I was to who I am becoming .
I don't know if the weather will support a photo at noon of my shadow or of the moonrise, but if it does, I'll incorporate those as well.
Wishing you strength and grace as you step forward 🦋
April - such a gorgeous practice you have and I thank you for sharing that here. I also pay close attention to the moon, a newish practice for me. I was always a sun chaser- rise early to see it poke through and then marvel as it dips back down hours later. I have a new puppy which requires me stepping out in the wee hours of the morning (4ish) to let her pee and I’ve grown to love this. We look up in the sky and I stay for a few minutes, I’ll whisper a quick something to the moon. A prayer of peace. I may keep that practice when when my dog need not go out so early.
Do you subscribe to Heather Marie Morse here on Substack?
https://substack.com/@heathermariemorse?r=rkt4u&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile
She posts daily and it is packed full of daily rituals and offerings that emphasize the moon’s energies. I think you’d love it.
This right here, I had to pause “. I wept and then noticed the moon pointing a rosy finger at me.” The sky and cosmos can and will hold us. If we pay attention. If we are open to receive it. Wishing you so much grace, magic and serenity as you cross this threshold. ✨
I love your equinox and solstice rituals. Thanks for sharing here!
Allison, this was so rich with love and meaning and reflection and I feel truly inspired by all you have shared. I remember reading the original piece on chronos and kairos time a year ago and appreciating having that new knowledge. I also wanted to bring to your attention a novel on my TBR list that perhaps should be on yours: Wellness by Nathan Hill, an Oprah pick last year, I believe. Here is an interview where he talks about how he was inspired by the Greek idea of kairos in how he structured his novel and I am fascinated to read it and see how he does it:
"In Wellness, I wanted to capture that feeling when certain moments in time are connected to each other, when we suddenly access these former versions of ourselves: the self we were when we were going through that awkward and ugly phase; the self we were when we were small and afraid; the self we were when we were out of our element and made to feel ashamed. These people trail us, sometimes inhabit us. When someone’s having a fight with their spouse, they are responding to a problem in the present, sure, but they are also simultaneously that four-year-old helpless child who was injured in some important memorable way that shaped their map of the world and made them on guard for that thing forever. Our brains reinvent, in the present, that painful moment from the distant past, making it no longer distant. And I wanted to recreate that feeling, by putting scenes from very different eras right next to each other—sometimes even in the same sentence—to arrange the book kairologically rather than chronologically." Nathan Hill, The Southeast Review, https://www.southeastreview.org/single-post/an-interview-with-nathan-hill
I loved the new additions this year to this essay, especially the star tradition with your daughter and I am going to incorporate that in my own traditions with my daughters (and future grandchildren??, she writes hopefully).
Yes, we are so afraid of the darkness, we humans, and along with it, silence. But I have learned to welcome the quiet of the pre-dawn darkness and the arrival of night as the sun goes to rest. I always feel a little thrill inside me when the dark arrives each early evening here in Florida, around 5:30-6pm. Ah, I think, my time, here it is again, the expansive time to feel into my soul. It is in the dark that I feel most at peace, when my creativity most wants to roam and play and wonder. Darkness has become my friend--even when the darkness brings the remembrance of still raw losses and hurts that won't heal. I can sit with those feelings in the dark more comfortably than in the light.
To your questions:
In what small way will you send light into your world? The kind of light that feels like a lingering hug?
I will continue to send my words out into the world, for the little bit of light they may shed, in the hope that it may feel like a lingering hug.
I will also continue to love freely and openly, doing my best to do so without judgement and expectation (knowing I will fail at this, but forgive myself, too).
I will continue to love myself best of all because that is where the light begins.
~What is slowly rising in you? A bit more each day- with its hue coming clearer and brighter?
What is slowly rising in me, becoming clearer and brighter, is the sense of inner peace and calm. For so long, especially in those years of anguish when I knew I had to leave my marriage for my own soul's survival but I couldn't summon my courage, I prayed each day for serenity. Now serenity, it seems, is here, growing brighter every day. There is space in my life and heart for serenity. (And this makes sense, serenity is from Latin serenus, meaning "calm or peaceful"). I think I must remember to cherish in 2025, that when I embark on a brand-new chapter in a brand-new country, I need to guard my serenity. I sense it is fragile.
~What would you include on your star?
For myself: I wish for the capacity to love and accept myself just as I am with serenity.
For others: I wish for the capacity to love and accept others just as they are with serenity.
For the planet: I wish for humans to do everything in their power to heal this planet and bring it back to its natural state of serenity in "the family of things," as Mary Oliver writes in "Wild Geese."
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Thank you, Allison, for the gift of this essay. I will come back to it again during this solstice and reflective holiday break period.
Thank you for this rich and thoughtful response, Amy!
I did read Wellness - one of the first books I picked up in 2024. The kairological sway of the book does come through. And he does it with two characters, not just one protagonist. It’s a different approach and I liked the book a lot.
And - “These people trail us, sometimes inhabit us”. Ooof. Isn’t that the truth. Makes me think of the Chinese nesting dolls 🪆 - this idea that inside us remain all the versions of ourselves that we inhabited. Ones that poke back through.
I can just picture you filling out your stars with your sweet daughters. And my smile grew as imagined you as a grandmother. A role I know you will cherish.
I share in your love (reverence) of the dark. My most precious part of my day is the start of it - when I wake before the sun. Before the rest of my family (even the dogs stay sleeping) and I sit by candlelight, no other lights on and sip my coffee. I read Nepo’s passage and reflect on his words in silent thought. Just a few moments ago - before typing this I just sat staring at my Christmas tree. All lit up while outside is crisp white snowfall from yesterday. A wintery delight. I will let winter wash over me this year. No therapy light infusion. Let nature be my therapy, right? I know you get it and I am so thankful you do. 🫶
Your words certainly do feel like a hug. Loving ourselves best knowing THAT is where/how the light begins. Yes!
Your threefold wish of serenity is gorgeous. I feel it and receive it. Thank you, Amy. For always being so generous in how you show up here.
I’m glad you re-posted this! Lovely thoughts and I learned about mistletoe! Also, will think about hanging wishing stars on my tree too this year.
Thank you, Jenny! I’d love to see your stars if you decide to do it. Nice having you here.