Oh. This piece got me in my heart, Allison. And in my gut. So many gems in here! Gems of observation & advice, but also gems of language.
Re: the phone
“I’m afraid you’ll get locked in there”
Ooh. I felt that. We all need to keep looking up and noticing; we all need to keep doing some cartwheels.
I love your Pa’s words about making memory deposits and yours about how you are saving up big.
This piece gets me in the feels about my own mothering to my two now grown daughters. So many treasures I put in my own savings account; so much shame and regret, too.
Thank you for the walk down memory lane of in the backseat,
after the soccer game tears (I went and read the piece you first wrote-so lovely).
You’re doing great work, mama. Your daughter is lucky to have such a wise, loving, sober mom.
AH, so much gratitude for your words and support, Rosemary. I appreciate you.
Yes, the heart's memory bank. Oh, do I miss my dad. And I am grateful for the lessons he taught me about being present with our kids - capturing moments in our hearts and minds (NOT ON THE PHONES). Ugh....lol
And believe me, I carry my own share of shame and guilt from the mommy drinking days. We just have to push through the regrets and could haves should haves and meet them here, today. With clear eyes and open hearts. xoxoxo
I can relate to that fully. It’s a powerful thing that you were once a ten year old girl and now are raising one. I have the baby book my mom kept about me for just my first few years and it’s one of my very favorite things: like a primer on me from the very beginning, from one who loved me most.
I love that. I just came across my baby book the other day, too. I didn’t keep one for my daughter. A decade ago I think I presumed all the digital documentation I was doing would be enough/the same. It’s not. I hope she reads these essays some day and understands.
I imagine when the time is right, she'll be very drawn to your essays. There's nothing like knowing the way a caring, attuned parent sees you from early on. It can inform you I think well into adulthood, that is, who you were always in process of becoming. Not that our parents' views are all we are, certainly, but it can be one important part of how we come to understand ourselves.
Allison, I am deeply moved and touched by this gorgeous piece of writing, so clearly from the deepest and wisest part of your heart and soul, suffused with love for your daughter. What a gift to her! I loved this line, among so many lovely ones: "Keep unwrapping the gift that is you." I am the mother of two daughters and these are precisely the messages I have tried to convey to them over the years--not as eloquently as you have here. Now age 29 and 31, I see that they did indeed keeping unwrapping the gift that was themselves, because I tried, as you so wisely put it, not to mold them but to unlock them, and remind them constantly of their intrinsic value and self-worth and how incredibly loved they are. You make me want to write to them. Hugs!
Thank you, Amy. Do it! Write the letters. I'm sure, even at 29 and 31, they would love to receive a letter from you. I know when I was in my early 30s, self-worth was lacking. I would have loved that kind of letter xoxoxo
Your body is not a map to be mastered and controlled 🙌🙌
Yesssss!
Thank you for sharing this intimate letter, my daughter is almost 3 and I feel such a calling to write her a letter.
Oh and the phone thing - I shudder!
Oh, I hope you do write the letter to your sweet girl, Sarina. Writing this letter was so cathartic and expansive for me.
The phones - ugh! It's scary territory!
Oh. This piece got me in my heart, Allison. And in my gut. So many gems in here! Gems of observation & advice, but also gems of language.
Re: the phone
“I’m afraid you’ll get locked in there”
Ooh. I felt that. We all need to keep looking up and noticing; we all need to keep doing some cartwheels.
I love your Pa’s words about making memory deposits and yours about how you are saving up big.
This piece gets me in the feels about my own mothering to my two now grown daughters. So many treasures I put in my own savings account; so much shame and regret, too.
Thank you for the walk down memory lane of in the backseat,
after the soccer game tears (I went and read the piece you first wrote-so lovely).
You’re doing great work, mama. Your daughter is lucky to have such a wise, loving, sober mom.
AH, so much gratitude for your words and support, Rosemary. I appreciate you.
Yes, the heart's memory bank. Oh, do I miss my dad. And I am grateful for the lessons he taught me about being present with our kids - capturing moments in our hearts and minds (NOT ON THE PHONES). Ugh....lol
And believe me, I carry my own share of shame and guilt from the mommy drinking days. We just have to push through the regrets and could haves should haves and meet them here, today. With clear eyes and open hearts. xoxoxo
I can relate to that fully. It’s a powerful thing that you were once a ten year old girl and now are raising one. I have the baby book my mom kept about me for just my first few years and it’s one of my very favorite things: like a primer on me from the very beginning, from one who loved me most.
I love that. I just came across my baby book the other day, too. I didn’t keep one for my daughter. A decade ago I think I presumed all the digital documentation I was doing would be enough/the same. It’s not. I hope she reads these essays some day and understands.
I imagine when the time is right, she'll be very drawn to your essays. There's nothing like knowing the way a caring, attuned parent sees you from early on. It can inform you I think well into adulthood, that is, who you were always in process of becoming. Not that our parents' views are all we are, certainly, but it can be one important part of how we come to understand ourselves.
So well put, Addie!
This is beautiful--both the substance of your letter and how you convey it.
Thanks, Addie. That means a lot. A part of me might have been writing that to my 10-year-old self, too.
Allison, I am deeply moved and touched by this gorgeous piece of writing, so clearly from the deepest and wisest part of your heart and soul, suffused with love for your daughter. What a gift to her! I loved this line, among so many lovely ones: "Keep unwrapping the gift that is you." I am the mother of two daughters and these are precisely the messages I have tried to convey to them over the years--not as eloquently as you have here. Now age 29 and 31, I see that they did indeed keeping unwrapping the gift that was themselves, because I tried, as you so wisely put it, not to mold them but to unlock them, and remind them constantly of their intrinsic value and self-worth and how incredibly loved they are. You make me want to write to them. Hugs!
Thank you, Amy. Do it! Write the letters. I'm sure, even at 29 and 31, they would love to receive a letter from you. I know when I was in my early 30s, self-worth was lacking. I would have loved that kind of letter xoxoxo
This is such an incredible piece of art! Thank you for sharing this. I feel every word in my bones. ♥️🙏
Thank you, Taiyo! I do think I wrote it for me as much as for my daughter 💗
I appreciate you! ✨
What a gorgeous letter to your daughter! ❤️
Thank you Cecelia! 🫶