Every word of this Allison; I relate to every word. I am glad I'm not alone. And I also feel so much grief and it's confronting to admit that I, like you, struggle with reading books. I have piles of them 'on the go' - non-fiction, like you. And I consume Substack in the same way and it feels awful.
Also I really appreciate you being honest and calling Substack out. I see SO MUCH 'oh Substack is amazing and my nervous system is calm when I scroll through notes here and isn't it just the most wonderful place?' And I just feel a bit sick and think WTF are you talking about? Scrolling notes is the same as scrolling any social media! True - less videos and no ads, but it's just as addictive. People sometimes refer to things like 'get a cup of tea and curl up and read this essay' but I think: it's still on a screen, it's still one of dozens filling our inboxes, we aren't reading it as we would books...! Sorry this is a mega rant. I'm just so glad you've actually said this because I haven't been brave enough too; I've just been rolling my eyes and feeling annoyed!
I am grieving the "old way", too. How I used to be able to linger and not get sucked into the vortex of screens. Thanks for saying that, Ellie. It really is confusing for me because it DOES feel awful on those days that I am just screeching through Notes or barreling through my Inbox AND ......it DOES feel wonderful in moments like this - when I come across someone else who feels the same way, connections are made. Resonance is lovely.
I guess the question remains, at what expense? What are we not picking up or looking at or talking to when we dive in here. Maybe it's a different question with different answers for everyone.
Bring me your mega rant because it makes mine feel like it has a friend! lol
Hi! Interesting article. I agree Substack can be addictive - I mean, I’m commenting here rather than doing something “more productive”.
How about a different way of looking at this trend though? The codex, i.e. a book, is about 2000 years old as a technology. It enabled random access to the information held within, a massive move away from linearity, since prior to that, it was only accessible in a linear way in the form of the scroll.
The printing press is around 500 years old, so books as we know them, as opposed to extremely expensive vellum pages copied by monks, are relatively recent.
Literacy beyond the elite is less than 150 years old.
The linear way of thinking that you describe is connected with the enlightenment, which is connected to the printing press, and is, according to many people who study the brain, really alien to how the brain is designed to function, which more comfortable processing interrelated networks of information than linear lists.
So maybe you can go easy on yourself, seeing that the way your brain is acting isn’t some sort of pathology, but the way it was naturally arranged before the enlightenment fashion for linear thinking?
And don’t get me started on the cult of productivity…
Hi Clint - thanks for dropping in with this note. I can appreciate this zooming out and larger frame approach of looking at it. I guess, as human species, the way we receive information will always be evolving, despite what is really primitive in all of us.
I do have a tendency to pathologize, especially my own tendencies. I'm addicted to naming my addictions! Hahaha
Allison, I feel like our journeys are two parallel lines.
I am feeling the same struggle lately. I do believe Substack is a lesser harm (and it is SO good-I hesitate to use the word "harm" in conjunction with it, but it fits as far as my struggle to "moderate" it) than any other social-and it is a social-and growing more like the other socials all the time. Notes, lives, DMS.
I LOVE to engage here and like you, I want to read so much of the juicy, thought-provoking, warm, funny, wise long form content here -by both readers I feel I know and love and others who are new to me.
Like you, my notifications are OFF-for Substack and everything-my email, Facebook, Messenger, etc. It makes me very anxious to see or hear notifications.
re: texts
It took me several years into sobriety and working on my codependency and people pleasing to realize that a) I had the CHOICE to not respond to a text immediately (what?!) and b) that my dopamine seeking, ADHD, OCD brain could let me go to bed with unanswered texts. It still makes me twitch a tiny bit. eek. But I can and I do it all the time now.
re: reading
I did manage to read 70 books last year (and it was not while I was at work at the library, lol ). One way I accomplished this was by listening to audiobooks during my long commute to work, while walking or doing house chores. I also read both on the kindle app on my phone and on my laptop and I still read traditional tree books. While I love the convenience of reading on my laptop via Kindle or Hoopla, I can get bored, want a dopamine hit, and hop around to yes, Substack, but also to my email, Facebook, etc. So that is a downside. I have Kindle Unlimited and will confess that many of those 70 books were very light romantic and or rom coms. Not much in depth or thought provoking reads there. Reading is my therapy. Reading books -and maybe practicing yoga-is the only way my mind truly gets quiet and relaxes. I can feel my BP dropping-I know reading is so good for my mental and physical health. Tree books are definitely better for this because I find once I have a real book in hand, curl up in the recliner, warm fuzzy blanket and or cat or dog on lap, I can truly settle in and get engrossed in the story-and as long as my phone is uncomfortably out of reach (this is key), I am not distracted. It is such a blissful feeling. But, like getting myself out for my walks or getting on the mat, it is just getting myself to do it that can be struggle.
I am concerned with my increased desire to grow my Substack and earn a living off my writing and other services as I most likely will not return to my job, that I will grow increasingly dependent and anxious around it and work myself around the clock. So, yep, it will be a challenge to read deeply and I am so grateful to be amongst the best company in managing this harm reduction.
Thanks, Allison, for bringing your authentic self here and bringing us your thoughts, inspiring our own and for offering a space for important discussion.
Thank you for this thoughtful response, Rosemary. We are on parallel tracks it seems (grateful to journey along with you!)
It's the moderation for me that lately feels icky. At some point I've let myself become way too plugged in here and now I spend a good chunk of my time moderating/managing the parameters of my time here.
I wrote this essay this week. The same week I decided to participate in the Notes Boost challenge here. What does that even say about me?!?! Hahahaha. I want in. I want out. I'm so torn. lol
I can relate to the concern over the desire to grow here. And now that can kick up some insecurities. I do genuinely desire to grow my publication here. Because I know what I am writing is of value. I know I am meant to do this. Truly, I feel that. But/And I can so easily get whipped up in the metric and the comparison. Or the rush. It's not a race. If this is for me, it will stay. If this is for me, readers will find me.
Thanks for receiving me like this, Rosemary. I see you, too! We're in this together.
A great post, Allison. An important post. I couldn’t find anything in it that I didn’t completely agree with and relate to. It’s all a slippery slope now. So much contradiction. I believe we all need to make decisions along these lines because it is scary, as you say. I feel that it’s important to remind you that you need not apologize in anyway, to anyone, to go the direction you do obviously realize is paramount. Not much room for compromising now. How can we learn about the true nature of who and what we are if we’re not available? I greatly appreciate that you’ve stepped up and said some things that sorely needed to be considered. Thank you for that.
Thanks, Brian. It truly is a slippery slope. I guess we are ok so long as we recognize how it feels when we are slipping. Self-awareness is a blessing and a curse sometimes.
And I especially appreciate the nod to non-compromise when it comes to true nature. We are who we are. I am grateful that I am open to it. Thanks for reminding me of that.
Hi! This really resonates with me. I love reading everyone’s stories but I often wonder how it impacts my own creativity and productivity. It’s hard to find a balance. I also never thought about how my reading 3-4 books at any given time isn’t heroic but actually a red flag for my inability to sustain attention. Lots to think about.
YES!!! The thinking it is a grand gesture of my capacity to inhale literature, that's been my thought process until now. Umm, maybe, just maybe it's because I can't sustain the focus on one book.
The struggle is real - the struggle to balance and feed myself and my mind the right dosage is hard to figure out.
I, too, have several books collecting dust. I really want to read them! But when I get home from work, or even on the weekends, I prefer to watch Netflix (with my dogs by my side) & just vegitate. I try to read before bed, but I'm asleep a few pages in. I love reading articles like yours 1st thing in the morning while my mind is fresh, and while I'm sipping coffee. I desparately want to join your zoom on the 29th, but unfortunately I'll be a work. However, I'm already thinking about a way I could possibly take the afternoon off. We'll see!
Hi Crystal - I’ve never heard that expression before and I love it: vegitate. Often your body KNOWS when you need to veg out. Mine yells at me to do the same at night. I get it totally. I also suck at reading at night. I’m trying to get back into that habit of even a chapter of so before bed.
I would love to see you in the Zoom room Wednesday but if you can’t make it, please know they’ll be more down the line. I’ll be shuffling them around - no set day of week and time of day so stay tuned.
“We can’t stand the idea of ‘wasted’ time.” This has become painfully true for me lately. It’s been true for a long while - since my time in Dr. TCM school, for example. Back then, I wasn’t spending time online, but I was desperate to use every available moment reading textbooks and notes, studying, and memorizing... for five years straight.
Now, I look back and think those five years - which didn’t feel particularly healthy at the time - were way healthier than what I experience now, with the added online aspect. While I’m off all other social media, Substack is definitely social media. I’m still working out how to shift my relationship with it... Thank you for helping me think through all of this, Allison! ❤️
I struggle so much with using my time “wisely.” Yet, I feel perhaps I’m not giving myself credit where credit is due. Just yesterday, I looked down at three work assignments that I wanted to complete before the end of the week. Rather than task master by way through them, I stepped away and I actually ran a bath for myself 😱🤯. I literally cannot remember the last time I gave myself a bath. One of the perks of being able to work from when I choose.
I appreciate your point of casting back to previous years as a reference point. I have always been a perpetual learner/seeker and part of that means I’m a doer. I go all in. Inhale the info /double down on it. I feel like you may have that part too. It does feel healthier when it’s sought in textbooks or classes. It does feel healthier when it is in/from actual books versus screens. For me, it comes down to the speed of it all. I’m slower, more deliberate with books than I am social media. The speed sneaks in and does something to my nervous system that I don’t always recognize as there but later feel.
Thanks for jumping in here with more to share on all of this. It helps me. It’s a continual process.
Yay for that bath! This morning, I tried a new routine where I spend at least half an hour studying Thai before opening my laptop. I’ll definitely be repeating it tomorrow! That 30 minutes of slow, focused study and writing practice impacted the rest of my day. Cheering you on with it all. 🫶
Hi Allison, such a thoughtful essay and a thought-provoking headline. I knew I had to dive in and read it. I see you grappling with your desire to slow down, to examine the ways in which you would like to be more present, and that awareness is already so much--so much more than many of us are doing.
You're onto yourself and in sharing your own dilemma of how Substack and screens ensnare you and pull you away from books, you open the conversation up for the rest of us. Maybe because it's such an embedded habit for me, but I have not lost the focus on books--printed books. I cannot go to bed without reading a book and often one that I have to pull myself away from. At meal times I pull open a book on my Kindle. When cooking, I've got a book on audio. This means I don't get nearly enough time to indulge my Substack reading; I fall behind except for a few I remain faithful to week after week (including yours) not because I don't want to read the writers I enjoy but if I'm limited in time, the book comes first. And lately, I've been very limited in time.
As for planning your next essay without resting in the one just published, (and often doing that planning on a nature walk,) I think that could also be seen as your beautiful creative brain bubbling up with ideas and your desire to communicate. You have things to SAY. That's not performative. That's being a writer. My mind is always bubbling up with what I want to say next.
You asked: Have you noticed a similarity here on Substack with how you used to or still feel on other platforms? Is your time here affecting your readership elsewhere?
I have never spent much time on the other platforms, so I can't compare, really. Substack is the only place I read long-form writing online. I was never into Medium. I often choose favorite Substack writers over my Atlantic and New Yorker subscriptions and that says something!
You asked: What are some ways you offer yourself grace when you feel like you’re being too hard on your brain?
The way I always show myself grace: "I love you, I love you, I love you. You're doing just great in Earth School, humaning the best you can. If your brain hurts, darling, go lie down, close your eyes and think about nothing at all, or everything, or whatever pops into your mind. Don't fight it, just let it be."
Happy to have read you this evening, Allison, my friend!
P.S. The book on my nightstand right now? Nina George's The Little Paris Bookshop. Highly recommend! About Monsieur Perdu who has a barge on the Seine called the Literary Apothecary where he administers books as medicine for the heart and soul.
~What are some ways you offer yourself grace when you feel like you’re being too hard on your brain?
Amy, thank you. I receive this comment with such gratitude, truly. I do feel that this is me awakening to necessary self-awareness. How I operate. And instead of pushing past it, I’m just looking at it, tossing it up here and saying, hey - anyone else feeling this? I don’t know that I would have felt brave enough to do that even a few months ago. So I hear you. I should acknowledge that and know this is me being “onto myself” as you say. I love that - because we can be so sneaky with ourselves, right?!?! Self deception runs deep!
The habit stacking part of it is a good point. I have other things embedded in my day that feel like a natural non-negotiable. Not things I am forcing, just my natural daily action. They’re just stacked up in the morning hours. I’m trying to get creative with stretching them out - sprinkling them through my day.
Honestly, I think it’s the whole instant gratification thing. I’m working on trust. Trusting that I’ll make time for it if it’s time to do it.
I love hearing about your dedication to books!!! Putting the book first. What a love story there ❤️
Thanks for the reframe on the creative artistry bubbling up. I do know that is part of it (maybe all of it??) and perhaps I just open up/receive it.
“Don’t fight it. Just be it”. I will take that with me. Thanks, Amy. So grateful to be a student in this Earth school with you.
Hi Allison. I was so intrigued by your post on Notes earlier today that I had to come back and read you whole article.
I just finished reading Jonathan Haidt's, The Anxious Generation, about the harms of social media to children and teens. He has collected significant evidence, which he believes goes beyond correlation to causation, of specific harms to child development of what he calls screen-based childhoods. Specifically, he shows the rapid growth in instances of anxiety and depression in Gen Z beginning around 2010. I have to tell you, I got anxious just reading it, particularly because I have a six and a nine year old grandchild.
A lot of people have started raising similar questions to the ones you raise here and more and more writers are writing excellent "books" about the growing fragmentation of our attention.
Ever the optimist, I wonder if articles like yours and the wonderful and thoughtful comments on this like those below, are a sign of a shift in consciousness and a more widespread desire for something different. Maybe, like the slow food movement, we need to create a slow read movement? Perhaps there already is one. Thanks for this thoughtful piece and your honesty about how it is affecting you. I hope it continues to generate discussion and conversation.
Thank you for circling back and leaving this comment, Cathy. It means a lot. I really hope (and do believe) that there is a shift in consciousness happening. It feels as though some of us are able to pull back and take a bird's eye view on all of this and say, eeeek. This isn't healthy. Our attention is SO fragmented.
I would get behind a slow everything movement! Slow down our bodies, our brains, our pace, our reading, our snacking, our drinking, our driving. Your optimism is refreshing and I appreciate you sharing your perspective here.
I grow ever concerned when I watch my kids with their peers. I have a 17-year-old son and an 11-year-old daughter. There is no keeping them from the lure of social media and the YouTube influenced world we live it. I guess all I can do is gently remind them to put up guardrails. Be safe and smart. And go outside and look up at the sky from time to time!!!! I try to lead by example, too. Try being the operative word. I'm susceptible just like they are.
Funny, I purchased Anxious Generation on Audible and I couldn't get far into it. It made me too anxious!
Highly relatable Allison. I am still reading books (cos it's such a relief to my brain to be off screens) but I notice the scattered attention you speak of. I even notice how I struggle to stay with an essay that's 10 or 11 minutes long and am much more likely to click on one that's 3 or 4 minutes. It is a problem, the dopamine addiction is real, and the impact on my focus and nervous system is noticeable. It's similar to other social media, especially as Notes seem to become more of a thing here. I do hope Notes are not going to take over from long-form (I noticed a post from Sarah Fay this week saying Notes is now where all the growth is happening 😔). Thanks for kicking off this conversation.
I share your concern over the Notes feature. It sounds like "there is where it's at" and that is exactly where I tend to get scattered. With that said, I did hear Sarah's call to participate in the Notes Boost challenge. Of course, I dove right in! HA! So far, it just doesn't feel intimate. I can appreciate the idea of spreading people's Notes to expand the width of all of our algorithm feeds except just jumping in and reading one quick Note bite after another feels exactly like Facebook and Instagram to me.
Another great book on this is Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke.
We're clearly not alone in this. We're all swimming in dopamine baths it seems.
I’ve so far resisted the pull of the Notes Boost Challenge (and my notes are probably dive-bombing as a result 😂). Notes does feel a bit too close to the old-style social media, and that was never where I felt at home. I came here for the long-form thoughtful content, and I hope that’s here to stay. That said, with the oligarchs in charge of the other platforms, perhaps it’s also a blessing that social media feeds are moving over here, so we can truly leave those other platforms behind….
Yes! Yes! Yes! I seem to ride in ups and downs between reading FICTION books and scrolling time. Much of this depends on what's going on around me, personally, politically, socially. I haven't been reading books much lately . . . What's happening in this our country is overwhelming me and I need goodness! Hence, I scroll FB or Substack for the feel good stuff. I need time to 'check out' of life. This may be in nature, with headphones on or an amazing book. These activities slow me down, center me, and fill me up. I read Fiction for exactly this reason, to check out. I admit, I do love historical fiction, learning more about certain time periods, etc. I don't like non fiction b/c I want a story I can melt into. (Allison, I have many favorites to share!!). The words Grace and Trust are coming up for me. Grace for myself in all my actions, misgivings and back steps. Trust that I am doing the best I can right now, pausing , breathing, not judging but observing and always knowing I can try again. Allison, you are loved, held, appreciated and light in my world. Thank you for being here. You matter. XO
This entire essay is my love language, Allison. Here is where I am with the harm reduction. Yesterday, I was able to wake up, do my workout, and have my coffee before I went into the Substack love hole. That was a good day, and it happened because I laid everything out the night before as a visual queue for my morning self. Last night, I did no such thing, so here I am on Subtack, CHECKING, reading, living, laughing and loving. It’s truly an issue of delaying gratification. It’s all going to be here after I do whatever other stuff I need to do, but if I have no clear plan, I’ll just go for the easy snack.
Always a work in progress. It is part of the reason that I made reading and talking about books a part of this. Stolen Focus was also one of those life-changing books for me. While I can’t hole up in a far-away place with my flip-phone, I can bring some of those guardrails into the place where I live.
Also, I didn’t think you swore that much, and I love your Boston accent!! Thank you for telling people to read my book!
We are both fluent in this, it seems. My fellow addiction hypochondriac! You help me feel so understood.
The Substack love whole - hahahaha. Smart idea - the visual cues for your morning self. My evening self just melts into a slug who would never even consider morning Allison. I'll have a talk with her. Maybe she'll reconsider.
The reading, living, laughing, loving - all GOOD, right? But you nail it with the delayed gratification. THAT IS IT. We're so bad at that...... We want to hop RIGHT back in. And in is never quick (at least for me).
It's all about planning, preparation and TRUST. Trusting that I will be better off for waiting and taking care of the other less "buzzy" things.
And I could have thrown more f-bombs. Maybe I'll save those for next time I'm on the pod!
Every word of this Allison; I relate to every word. I am glad I'm not alone. And I also feel so much grief and it's confronting to admit that I, like you, struggle with reading books. I have piles of them 'on the go' - non-fiction, like you. And I consume Substack in the same way and it feels awful.
Also I really appreciate you being honest and calling Substack out. I see SO MUCH 'oh Substack is amazing and my nervous system is calm when I scroll through notes here and isn't it just the most wonderful place?' And I just feel a bit sick and think WTF are you talking about? Scrolling notes is the same as scrolling any social media! True - less videos and no ads, but it's just as addictive. People sometimes refer to things like 'get a cup of tea and curl up and read this essay' but I think: it's still on a screen, it's still one of dozens filling our inboxes, we aren't reading it as we would books...! Sorry this is a mega rant. I'm just so glad you've actually said this because I haven't been brave enough too; I've just been rolling my eyes and feeling annoyed!
I am grieving the "old way", too. How I used to be able to linger and not get sucked into the vortex of screens. Thanks for saying that, Ellie. It really is confusing for me because it DOES feel awful on those days that I am just screeching through Notes or barreling through my Inbox AND ......it DOES feel wonderful in moments like this - when I come across someone else who feels the same way, connections are made. Resonance is lovely.
I guess the question remains, at what expense? What are we not picking up or looking at or talking to when we dive in here. Maybe it's a different question with different answers for everyone.
Bring me your mega rant because it makes mine feel like it has a friend! lol
Hi! Interesting article. I agree Substack can be addictive - I mean, I’m commenting here rather than doing something “more productive”.
How about a different way of looking at this trend though? The codex, i.e. a book, is about 2000 years old as a technology. It enabled random access to the information held within, a massive move away from linearity, since prior to that, it was only accessible in a linear way in the form of the scroll.
The printing press is around 500 years old, so books as we know them, as opposed to extremely expensive vellum pages copied by monks, are relatively recent.
Literacy beyond the elite is less than 150 years old.
The linear way of thinking that you describe is connected with the enlightenment, which is connected to the printing press, and is, according to many people who study the brain, really alien to how the brain is designed to function, which more comfortable processing interrelated networks of information than linear lists.
So maybe you can go easy on yourself, seeing that the way your brain is acting isn’t some sort of pathology, but the way it was naturally arranged before the enlightenment fashion for linear thinking?
And don’t get me started on the cult of productivity…
Hi Clint - thanks for dropping in with this note. I can appreciate this zooming out and larger frame approach of looking at it. I guess, as human species, the way we receive information will always be evolving, despite what is really primitive in all of us.
I do have a tendency to pathologize, especially my own tendencies. I'm addicted to naming my addictions! Hahaha
And yes, the cult of productivity is a BEAST.
Allison, I feel like our journeys are two parallel lines.
I am feeling the same struggle lately. I do believe Substack is a lesser harm (and it is SO good-I hesitate to use the word "harm" in conjunction with it, but it fits as far as my struggle to "moderate" it) than any other social-and it is a social-and growing more like the other socials all the time. Notes, lives, DMS.
I LOVE to engage here and like you, I want to read so much of the juicy, thought-provoking, warm, funny, wise long form content here -by both readers I feel I know and love and others who are new to me.
Like you, my notifications are OFF-for Substack and everything-my email, Facebook, Messenger, etc. It makes me very anxious to see or hear notifications.
re: texts
It took me several years into sobriety and working on my codependency and people pleasing to realize that a) I had the CHOICE to not respond to a text immediately (what?!) and b) that my dopamine seeking, ADHD, OCD brain could let me go to bed with unanswered texts. It still makes me twitch a tiny bit. eek. But I can and I do it all the time now.
re: reading
I did manage to read 70 books last year (and it was not while I was at work at the library, lol ). One way I accomplished this was by listening to audiobooks during my long commute to work, while walking or doing house chores. I also read both on the kindle app on my phone and on my laptop and I still read traditional tree books. While I love the convenience of reading on my laptop via Kindle or Hoopla, I can get bored, want a dopamine hit, and hop around to yes, Substack, but also to my email, Facebook, etc. So that is a downside. I have Kindle Unlimited and will confess that many of those 70 books were very light romantic and or rom coms. Not much in depth or thought provoking reads there. Reading is my therapy. Reading books -and maybe practicing yoga-is the only way my mind truly gets quiet and relaxes. I can feel my BP dropping-I know reading is so good for my mental and physical health. Tree books are definitely better for this because I find once I have a real book in hand, curl up in the recliner, warm fuzzy blanket and or cat or dog on lap, I can truly settle in and get engrossed in the story-and as long as my phone is uncomfortably out of reach (this is key), I am not distracted. It is such a blissful feeling. But, like getting myself out for my walks or getting on the mat, it is just getting myself to do it that can be struggle.
I am concerned with my increased desire to grow my Substack and earn a living off my writing and other services as I most likely will not return to my job, that I will grow increasingly dependent and anxious around it and work myself around the clock. So, yep, it will be a challenge to read deeply and I am so grateful to be amongst the best company in managing this harm reduction.
Thanks, Allison, for bringing your authentic self here and bringing us your thoughts, inspiring our own and for offering a space for important discussion.
Thank you for this thoughtful response, Rosemary. We are on parallel tracks it seems (grateful to journey along with you!)
It's the moderation for me that lately feels icky. At some point I've let myself become way too plugged in here and now I spend a good chunk of my time moderating/managing the parameters of my time here.
I wrote this essay this week. The same week I decided to participate in the Notes Boost challenge here. What does that even say about me?!?! Hahahaha. I want in. I want out. I'm so torn. lol
I can relate to the concern over the desire to grow here. And now that can kick up some insecurities. I do genuinely desire to grow my publication here. Because I know what I am writing is of value. I know I am meant to do this. Truly, I feel that. But/And I can so easily get whipped up in the metric and the comparison. Or the rush. It's not a race. If this is for me, it will stay. If this is for me, readers will find me.
Thanks for receiving me like this, Rosemary. I see you, too! We're in this together.
A great post, Allison. An important post. I couldn’t find anything in it that I didn’t completely agree with and relate to. It’s all a slippery slope now. So much contradiction. I believe we all need to make decisions along these lines because it is scary, as you say. I feel that it’s important to remind you that you need not apologize in anyway, to anyone, to go the direction you do obviously realize is paramount. Not much room for compromising now. How can we learn about the true nature of who and what we are if we’re not available? I greatly appreciate that you’ve stepped up and said some things that sorely needed to be considered. Thank you for that.
Thanks, Brian. It truly is a slippery slope. I guess we are ok so long as we recognize how it feels when we are slipping. Self-awareness is a blessing and a curse sometimes.
And I especially appreciate the nod to non-compromise when it comes to true nature. We are who we are. I am grateful that I am open to it. Thanks for reminding me of that.
Hi! This really resonates with me. I love reading everyone’s stories but I often wonder how it impacts my own creativity and productivity. It’s hard to find a balance. I also never thought about how my reading 3-4 books at any given time isn’t heroic but actually a red flag for my inability to sustain attention. Lots to think about.
YES!!! The thinking it is a grand gesture of my capacity to inhale literature, that's been my thought process until now. Umm, maybe, just maybe it's because I can't sustain the focus on one book.
The struggle is real - the struggle to balance and feed myself and my mind the right dosage is hard to figure out.
Thanks for joining the convo here, Lindsey.
I, too, have several books collecting dust. I really want to read them! But when I get home from work, or even on the weekends, I prefer to watch Netflix (with my dogs by my side) & just vegitate. I try to read before bed, but I'm asleep a few pages in. I love reading articles like yours 1st thing in the morning while my mind is fresh, and while I'm sipping coffee. I desparately want to join your zoom on the 29th, but unfortunately I'll be a work. However, I'm already thinking about a way I could possibly take the afternoon off. We'll see!
Hi Crystal - I’ve never heard that expression before and I love it: vegitate. Often your body KNOWS when you need to veg out. Mine yells at me to do the same at night. I get it totally. I also suck at reading at night. I’m trying to get back into that habit of even a chapter of so before bed.
I would love to see you in the Zoom room Wednesday but if you can’t make it, please know they’ll be more down the line. I’ll be shuffling them around - no set day of week and time of day so stay tuned.
“We can’t stand the idea of ‘wasted’ time.” This has become painfully true for me lately. It’s been true for a long while - since my time in Dr. TCM school, for example. Back then, I wasn’t spending time online, but I was desperate to use every available moment reading textbooks and notes, studying, and memorizing... for five years straight.
Now, I look back and think those five years - which didn’t feel particularly healthy at the time - were way healthier than what I experience now, with the added online aspect. While I’m off all other social media, Substack is definitely social media. I’m still working out how to shift my relationship with it... Thank you for helping me think through all of this, Allison! ❤️
Thank you for sharing that here, Dana! 🫶
I struggle so much with using my time “wisely.” Yet, I feel perhaps I’m not giving myself credit where credit is due. Just yesterday, I looked down at three work assignments that I wanted to complete before the end of the week. Rather than task master by way through them, I stepped away and I actually ran a bath for myself 😱🤯. I literally cannot remember the last time I gave myself a bath. One of the perks of being able to work from when I choose.
I appreciate your point of casting back to previous years as a reference point. I have always been a perpetual learner/seeker and part of that means I’m a doer. I go all in. Inhale the info /double down on it. I feel like you may have that part too. It does feel healthier when it’s sought in textbooks or classes. It does feel healthier when it is in/from actual books versus screens. For me, it comes down to the speed of it all. I’m slower, more deliberate with books than I am social media. The speed sneaks in and does something to my nervous system that I don’t always recognize as there but later feel.
Thanks for jumping in here with more to share on all of this. It helps me. It’s a continual process.
Yay for that bath! This morning, I tried a new routine where I spend at least half an hour studying Thai before opening my laptop. I’ll definitely be repeating it tomorrow! That 30 minutes of slow, focused study and writing practice impacted the rest of my day. Cheering you on with it all. 🫶
Cheers to that! Slow and focused start always reaps benefits for me.
Hi Allison, such a thoughtful essay and a thought-provoking headline. I knew I had to dive in and read it. I see you grappling with your desire to slow down, to examine the ways in which you would like to be more present, and that awareness is already so much--so much more than many of us are doing.
You're onto yourself and in sharing your own dilemma of how Substack and screens ensnare you and pull you away from books, you open the conversation up for the rest of us. Maybe because it's such an embedded habit for me, but I have not lost the focus on books--printed books. I cannot go to bed without reading a book and often one that I have to pull myself away from. At meal times I pull open a book on my Kindle. When cooking, I've got a book on audio. This means I don't get nearly enough time to indulge my Substack reading; I fall behind except for a few I remain faithful to week after week (including yours) not because I don't want to read the writers I enjoy but if I'm limited in time, the book comes first. And lately, I've been very limited in time.
As for planning your next essay without resting in the one just published, (and often doing that planning on a nature walk,) I think that could also be seen as your beautiful creative brain bubbling up with ideas and your desire to communicate. You have things to SAY. That's not performative. That's being a writer. My mind is always bubbling up with what I want to say next.
You asked: Have you noticed a similarity here on Substack with how you used to or still feel on other platforms? Is your time here affecting your readership elsewhere?
I have never spent much time on the other platforms, so I can't compare, really. Substack is the only place I read long-form writing online. I was never into Medium. I often choose favorite Substack writers over my Atlantic and New Yorker subscriptions and that says something!
You asked: What are some ways you offer yourself grace when you feel like you’re being too hard on your brain?
The way I always show myself grace: "I love you, I love you, I love you. You're doing just great in Earth School, humaning the best you can. If your brain hurts, darling, go lie down, close your eyes and think about nothing at all, or everything, or whatever pops into your mind. Don't fight it, just let it be."
Happy to have read you this evening, Allison, my friend!
P.S. The book on my nightstand right now? Nina George's The Little Paris Bookshop. Highly recommend! About Monsieur Perdu who has a barge on the Seine called the Literary Apothecary where he administers books as medicine for the heart and soul.
~What are some ways you offer yourself grace when you feel like you’re being too hard on your brain?
Amy, thank you. I receive this comment with such gratitude, truly. I do feel that this is me awakening to necessary self-awareness. How I operate. And instead of pushing past it, I’m just looking at it, tossing it up here and saying, hey - anyone else feeling this? I don’t know that I would have felt brave enough to do that even a few months ago. So I hear you. I should acknowledge that and know this is me being “onto myself” as you say. I love that - because we can be so sneaky with ourselves, right?!?! Self deception runs deep!
The habit stacking part of it is a good point. I have other things embedded in my day that feel like a natural non-negotiable. Not things I am forcing, just my natural daily action. They’re just stacked up in the morning hours. I’m trying to get creative with stretching them out - sprinkling them through my day.
Honestly, I think it’s the whole instant gratification thing. I’m working on trust. Trusting that I’ll make time for it if it’s time to do it.
I love hearing about your dedication to books!!! Putting the book first. What a love story there ❤️
Thanks for the reframe on the creative artistry bubbling up. I do know that is part of it (maybe all of it??) and perhaps I just open up/receive it.
“Don’t fight it. Just be it”. I will take that with me. Thanks, Amy. So grateful to be a student in this Earth school with you.
And what a beautiful awakening you are experiencing, Allison, generously sharing it with all of us. Have a lovely weekend!
Hi Allison. I was so intrigued by your post on Notes earlier today that I had to come back and read you whole article.
I just finished reading Jonathan Haidt's, The Anxious Generation, about the harms of social media to children and teens. He has collected significant evidence, which he believes goes beyond correlation to causation, of specific harms to child development of what he calls screen-based childhoods. Specifically, he shows the rapid growth in instances of anxiety and depression in Gen Z beginning around 2010. I have to tell you, I got anxious just reading it, particularly because I have a six and a nine year old grandchild.
A lot of people have started raising similar questions to the ones you raise here and more and more writers are writing excellent "books" about the growing fragmentation of our attention.
Ever the optimist, I wonder if articles like yours and the wonderful and thoughtful comments on this like those below, are a sign of a shift in consciousness and a more widespread desire for something different. Maybe, like the slow food movement, we need to create a slow read movement? Perhaps there already is one. Thanks for this thoughtful piece and your honesty about how it is affecting you. I hope it continues to generate discussion and conversation.
Thank you for circling back and leaving this comment, Cathy. It means a lot. I really hope (and do believe) that there is a shift in consciousness happening. It feels as though some of us are able to pull back and take a bird's eye view on all of this and say, eeeek. This isn't healthy. Our attention is SO fragmented.
I would get behind a slow everything movement! Slow down our bodies, our brains, our pace, our reading, our snacking, our drinking, our driving. Your optimism is refreshing and I appreciate you sharing your perspective here.
I grow ever concerned when I watch my kids with their peers. I have a 17-year-old son and an 11-year-old daughter. There is no keeping them from the lure of social media and the YouTube influenced world we live it. I guess all I can do is gently remind them to put up guardrails. Be safe and smart. And go outside and look up at the sky from time to time!!!! I try to lead by example, too. Try being the operative word. I'm susceptible just like they are.
Funny, I purchased Anxious Generation on Audible and I couldn't get far into it. It made me too anxious!
Highly relatable Allison. I am still reading books (cos it's such a relief to my brain to be off screens) but I notice the scattered attention you speak of. I even notice how I struggle to stay with an essay that's 10 or 11 minutes long and am much more likely to click on one that's 3 or 4 minutes. It is a problem, the dopamine addiction is real, and the impact on my focus and nervous system is noticeable. It's similar to other social media, especially as Notes seem to become more of a thing here. I do hope Notes are not going to take over from long-form (I noticed a post from Sarah Fay this week saying Notes is now where all the growth is happening 😔). Thanks for kicking off this conversation.
I share your concern over the Notes feature. It sounds like "there is where it's at" and that is exactly where I tend to get scattered. With that said, I did hear Sarah's call to participate in the Notes Boost challenge. Of course, I dove right in! HA! So far, it just doesn't feel intimate. I can appreciate the idea of spreading people's Notes to expand the width of all of our algorithm feeds except just jumping in and reading one quick Note bite after another feels exactly like Facebook and Instagram to me.
Another great book on this is Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke.
We're clearly not alone in this. We're all swimming in dopamine baths it seems.
I’ve so far resisted the pull of the Notes Boost Challenge (and my notes are probably dive-bombing as a result 😂). Notes does feel a bit too close to the old-style social media, and that was never where I felt at home. I came here for the long-form thoughtful content, and I hope that’s here to stay. That said, with the oligarchs in charge of the other platforms, perhaps it’s also a blessing that social media feeds are moving over here, so we can truly leave those other platforms behind….
Good for you for feeling the resistance and honoring it.
And we shall see what happens here on the Stack. Could be a blessing in disguise that more are headed here (???)
Yes! Yes! Yes! I seem to ride in ups and downs between reading FICTION books and scrolling time. Much of this depends on what's going on around me, personally, politically, socially. I haven't been reading books much lately . . . What's happening in this our country is overwhelming me and I need goodness! Hence, I scroll FB or Substack for the feel good stuff. I need time to 'check out' of life. This may be in nature, with headphones on or an amazing book. These activities slow me down, center me, and fill me up. I read Fiction for exactly this reason, to check out. I admit, I do love historical fiction, learning more about certain time periods, etc. I don't like non fiction b/c I want a story I can melt into. (Allison, I have many favorites to share!!). The words Grace and Trust are coming up for me. Grace for myself in all my actions, misgivings and back steps. Trust that I am doing the best I can right now, pausing , breathing, not judging but observing and always knowing I can try again. Allison, you are loved, held, appreciated and light in my world. Thank you for being here. You matter. XO
Send your fiction recs my way, Jane. The perpetual seeker and learner in me loves non-fiction but I do need to escape!
Hanging onto your words - letting them soak in. Grace. Trust. Thank you, Jane. I appreciate you and how you show up here in this space.
This entire essay is my love language, Allison. Here is where I am with the harm reduction. Yesterday, I was able to wake up, do my workout, and have my coffee before I went into the Substack love hole. That was a good day, and it happened because I laid everything out the night before as a visual queue for my morning self. Last night, I did no such thing, so here I am on Subtack, CHECKING, reading, living, laughing and loving. It’s truly an issue of delaying gratification. It’s all going to be here after I do whatever other stuff I need to do, but if I have no clear plan, I’ll just go for the easy snack.
Always a work in progress. It is part of the reason that I made reading and talking about books a part of this. Stolen Focus was also one of those life-changing books for me. While I can’t hole up in a far-away place with my flip-phone, I can bring some of those guardrails into the place where I live.
Also, I didn’t think you swore that much, and I love your Boston accent!! Thank you for telling people to read my book!
We are both fluent in this, it seems. My fellow addiction hypochondriac! You help me feel so understood.
The Substack love whole - hahahaha. Smart idea - the visual cues for your morning self. My evening self just melts into a slug who would never even consider morning Allison. I'll have a talk with her. Maybe she'll reconsider.
The reading, living, laughing, loving - all GOOD, right? But you nail it with the delayed gratification. THAT IS IT. We're so bad at that...... We want to hop RIGHT back in. And in is never quick (at least for me).
It's all about planning, preparation and TRUST. Trusting that I will be better off for waiting and taking care of the other less "buzzy" things.
And I could have thrown more f-bombs. Maybe I'll save those for next time I'm on the pod!