You Are Not a To-do List

A little ditty (and a haiku) on rest and waking up

Welcome to our Wednesday round up for paid subscribers. I decided to remove the paywall from this piece to provide a glimpse into the Wednesday round up vibe. This space is evolving, and I am organically stretching it out week to week to see where it wants to go. April is National Poetry Month and in anticipation of our paid subscriber monthly meet up on Zoom slated for 4/24 I thought I would get us started in thinking about what it means to live our lives “poetically.”

One of the definitions of poetically in the Oxford dictionary is:

with an imaginative or sensitively emotional style of expression

I don’t consider myself a poet, yet I do identify with being a writer who emotes on the page - leaking out all kinds of sensitive ideas that bounce around in me. Perhaps there is a poet deep down in all of us.

I live from my head. Yet, I yearn to live from my body. I want them both to know that I give them permission to intersect. I want them to forge a pact - a symbiotic fusion. One melting into the other so that they don’t feel like they need to compete again today.

Something I have been doing lately is what I am calling Take 5 for 5.

Because my default it to get locked in on the chatter in my brain; the endless rat race of me vs. me to get it all done/arrive at some self-perceived daily finish line, I am beginning a practice where I set reminders sporadically throughout my day to mute that chatter. I stop and drop and ask:

Am I in my body right now or am I on auto pilot in my head?

It’s the only way I can consistently land that plane so that my body understands it is not a mere passenger of my mind. So that my body recognizes it is a co-pilot.

I set an alarm on my phone at various intervals throughout the workday and when it goes off, I remove myself from a screen, stand up, and move. I stretch, breathe, hydrate and that is IT. No opening a new tab, no texting someone, no reading for pleasure. JUST BREATH. A simple stretch. Maybe gaze out the window. I also make sure I tap into at least 2 of my 5 senses. Touch something and actually FEEL it. Gaze at something and actually SEE it. Drink water and actually FEEL how thirsty I was without even knowing it. 5 minutes. That’s it.

It works people.

You see - we are not to-do lists. We are not what we accomplish in a 24-hour window. The work is not - I need to fix this/crush this/finish this. The work is I need to acknowledge me. The work is - looking up long enough to gaze out the window.

Eventually, it won’t feel like work. Eventually, the instinct will be to pour into yourself, not into your pursuits. The security blanket of achievements will no longer be necessary. You will keep yourself warm.

I make these practices part of my work because I want to write my own syllabus. A dissertation on me. In order to do this, the study guide is not outside me. It is in me. The more I distract myself from myself, the further and further away I will get from landing that plane. I can so easily get stuck in a holding pattern where I circle and circle the airspace. Delaying my descent towards the runway of my life.

Me - taking 5 in Islamorada, Florida Keys. Back when I thought I could only relax if/when on vacation.

My nervous system craves a pace that is much slower than the speed at which my inner narrator communicates to me. It took me years to figure this out. Sobriety taught me this - I never would have discerned it otherwise.

I heard a quote this week that stopped me in my tracks. I was listening to

Emily P. Freeman

's podcast The Next Right Thing¹ wherein she quoted Wes Daniels:

There’s so much around us that’s trying to put us to sleep. In the quiet, we wake up. 

If you are still with me here. If you are reading this, I ask you: Do you sometimes feel like you are sleepwalking through your day? Yeah, me too. Try taking 5 for 5. Turn the world off for 5 minutes. And go quiet. Extend this out more regularly and make it a habit. Let’s wake up.

I am reading more poetry this month. There are so many gorgeous poetry writers here on Substack. One of my favs is

Grant Snider

. Go read his piece on Haikomics - a twist on traditional Haiku. It is so fun. So creative.

Haiku + Comic = Haikomic

I haven’t attempted a haiku in years. I decided to give it a try -with this idea of Take 5 for 5 in mind. No haikomic from me - I can barely draw a stick figure. But maybe, just maybe, I can be poetic.

Resting my body 
head and feet both rooted down 
My mind can reboot 

Photo by James Forbes on Unsplash

I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU:

~Do you have a poetic side to you? How do you tap into it?

~How do you drop into your body when your mind takes over? Share your tips on turning the dial down on distractions.

~Challenge: share a haiku of your own in the comments!

If you enjoyed this Wednesday round up, consider upgrading your subscription to paid. My vision for this space is to create an intimate community - one that connects in real time once a month - to rip on life, writing, and our collective feelings on being a human. Consider it an invitation to take a break. A break from all the rest of the to-dos that will always be there. So much gratitude to you ALL - no matter what tier of a reader you are here. I am so appreciative that you share this space with me.

1. The Kind of Quiet That Wakes Us Up