This really brings to mind the Ho‘oponopono prayer:
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
It’s such a powerful energetic practice — even when it’s unspoken or directed toward someone far away. Just holding the intention in your heart can create deep shifts. It’s my favorite way of clearing, softening, and restoring connection — with others, with yourself, even with the past.
I love that prayer. I have been saying it daily as I work through the physical pain of low back pain (with its emotional connections and origins too). I am apologizing to my body, asking its forgiveness for not slowing down enough to listen to its wisdom. And assuring this body: I love you.
I am still here! I am stuck on step four but I must give myself some grace. I keep making the fears list. If anyone can guide me or support me to keep going, remind me this won't kill me....I am open.
Hi MK - I'll offer a reframe. You are not stuck; you are taking your time. None of this is meant to be rushed through.
And if I can be honest (and I know I can be with this group), I feel like I did the steps a big disservice by writing my way through them week by week when I am NO WHERE near through them myself. Just know you are not alone in staring down the barrel of listing your fears. I spit out a bunch of mine onto paper and then I went back, revising and adding. My list is continuous.
I think this is a staircase of steps that I will forever be going up, down, up, back down 3 steps to a landing for a bit (to gain some safety and slowness) then I hold onto the banister and make my way up again. Since getting sober, I have had to remind myself over and over to "let go of linear." None of my journey has been straight or upward. I can't imagine my relationship with these steps will be either.
I love this and I so want to be linear but in reality I am the most non linear human I know and maybe it's time to embrace my spontaneous side with these steps. They have brought me to this place of ...it's okay to be afraid, to write those fears down. It is scary as hell to let someone see them, read them, and even know they exist but if that person / community can see you and love you anyway..what would that feel like? The same with the resentments and the forgiveness especially forgiveness of self.
Thanks Allison, this is big work. I too started with self and children, sadly facing into a marriage that was no longer working and unable to find a way forward. Living amends for me has also included ensuring that I am a more conscious parent, friend, employee, etc. I can't always go back and resolve the issues of the past but I can turn up more authentically for the life I have now. Also accepting that people may not want to hear from us, I have had some of those and I haven't gone digging people up but have asked God to help me find the people when I am able to make the amends. Allowing for a gradual way through the steps rather than it being a one-off deep dive has worked better for me. They are a continuum ❤️
Yes, that feels right for me, too. The forward-facing stance of living amends. Showing up more consciously to the life we are in right now, rather than fixating on or digging up old hurts and missteps.
It is big work. And I think sometimes we can get tripped up in thinking that means it HAS to be a heavy lift. Or many reps in one day. Not so, right?
Thanks so much for offering your perspectives. Your insight is so wise - so helpful to this discussion, Louise.
Absolutely Allison, this does not have to be a heavy labour. Allowing for a gentle compassionate and humble process that allows us to acknowledge that we too were hurt in this. Not everyone will get it, that's ok, that's part of it too.
Beautiful, Allison. I think your pause for self-forgiveness seems exactly right, before making amends to others and asking for their forgiveness. There are things for me to look at, too, in these steps. When I’ve come to some clarity, I’ll be back. But I have a hunch it will have to begin with self-forgiveness too. 💗
This really brings to mind the Ho‘oponopono prayer:
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
It’s such a powerful energetic practice — even when it’s unspoken or directed toward someone far away. Just holding the intention in your heart can create deep shifts. It’s my favorite way of clearing, softening, and restoring connection — with others, with yourself, even with the past.
I've never heard of this before. Thanks for sharing it here, Heather. I am copying this down and will incorporate it in my practice.
The simplicity and directedness of the prayer feels so impactful. It cuts right to what matters - love.
There are a bunch of them on YouTube. Expect tears by round 2 or 3 in an incredible way.
I love that prayer. I have been saying it daily as I work through the physical pain of low back pain (with its emotional connections and origins too). I am apologizing to my body, asking its forgiveness for not slowing down enough to listen to its wisdom. And assuring this body: I love you.
Yes, Amy. I often forget how much my body needs to "hear" from me.
Hi Allison
I am still here! I am stuck on step four but I must give myself some grace. I keep making the fears list. If anyone can guide me or support me to keep going, remind me this won't kill me....I am open.
Hi MK - I'll offer a reframe. You are not stuck; you are taking your time. None of this is meant to be rushed through.
And if I can be honest (and I know I can be with this group), I feel like I did the steps a big disservice by writing my way through them week by week when I am NO WHERE near through them myself. Just know you are not alone in staring down the barrel of listing your fears. I spit out a bunch of mine onto paper and then I went back, revising and adding. My list is continuous.
I think this is a staircase of steps that I will forever be going up, down, up, back down 3 steps to a landing for a bit (to gain some safety and slowness) then I hold onto the banister and make my way up again. Since getting sober, I have had to remind myself over and over to "let go of linear." None of my journey has been straight or upward. I can't imagine my relationship with these steps will be either.
I love this and I so want to be linear but in reality I am the most non linear human I know and maybe it's time to embrace my spontaneous side with these steps. They have brought me to this place of ...it's okay to be afraid, to write those fears down. It is scary as hell to let someone see them, read them, and even know they exist but if that person / community can see you and love you anyway..what would that feel like? The same with the resentments and the forgiveness especially forgiveness of self.
That is the question worth sitting with: "what would that feel like?" I need to ask it often, too. Thanks for putting this down here, MK.
Thanks Allison, this is big work. I too started with self and children, sadly facing into a marriage that was no longer working and unable to find a way forward. Living amends for me has also included ensuring that I am a more conscious parent, friend, employee, etc. I can't always go back and resolve the issues of the past but I can turn up more authentically for the life I have now. Also accepting that people may not want to hear from us, I have had some of those and I haven't gone digging people up but have asked God to help me find the people when I am able to make the amends. Allowing for a gradual way through the steps rather than it being a one-off deep dive has worked better for me. They are a continuum ❤️
Yes, that feels right for me, too. The forward-facing stance of living amends. Showing up more consciously to the life we are in right now, rather than fixating on or digging up old hurts and missteps.
It is big work. And I think sometimes we can get tripped up in thinking that means it HAS to be a heavy lift. Or many reps in one day. Not so, right?
Thanks so much for offering your perspectives. Your insight is so wise - so helpful to this discussion, Louise.
Absolutely Allison, this does not have to be a heavy labour. Allowing for a gentle compassionate and humble process that allows us to acknowledge that we too were hurt in this. Not everyone will get it, that's ok, that's part of it too.
Thank you Louise. Your ability to trust in Source and have an ongoing active relationship has be impactful.
Beautiful, Allison. I think your pause for self-forgiveness seems exactly right, before making amends to others and asking for their forgiveness. There are things for me to look at, too, in these steps. When I’ve come to some clarity, I’ll be back. But I have a hunch it will have to begin with self-forgiveness too. 💗
Starting with the self serves us all, I feel.
I'm learning these steps are best to take slowly and with deep care. We have time.
Thanks for being here and digging in xoxoxo
Okay....game changer! If I focus on starting with self. I can keep going
Yes, MK. That's the difference maker for me right now, too.